The Sex Workshops You Should Know – VANESSA TAI
Recently, over a game of Truth or Dare and one too many Hoegardens, my best male buddy ‘fessed up, “The worst oral I ever got was when I opened my eyes to see her staring up intently at me … I know it’s supposed to be sexy or something, but it just freaked me out!” Needless to say, I can never look at my friend in the same way again.
“Did you tell her?” I asked.
He shook his head vigorously, “Nah, she was the sensitive sort. And hey, any oral is better than none, right?”
His little anecdote got me thinking. It’s easy to laugh over bumbling sexcapades with your buddies, but somehow when it comes to discussing what we like/dislike in bed with our partner, we tend to clam up. Although we all know communication is the key to better sex, we seem to think that by speaking up, we’ll be hurting our partner’s feelings. “I just don’t know how to tell him that Id like to try something different,” says my 25-year-old teacher friend, who’s been in a relationship with the same guy for three years, “I love him tons, but our sex life is really quite boring.”
Well, not all of us can be like Sting and Trudie Styler – the couple have been married for 19 years, and are refreshingly candid about their sizzling sex life, admitting to dressing up for each other in the bedroom. But it’s not a lost cause … there are workshops we mere mortals can attend! Dr Martha Lee, clinical sexologist at Eros Coaching, has put together a series of small, cosy and intimate workshops where women can come together to learn more about the art of fellatio. If you’re going “Eww” at the thought of attending a workshop on oral sex, think about it this way – enjoying sex together is one of the best way to bond with your man, and if learning a few techniques can help both of you become closer, why not?
If this is not to your taste (pun intended), another workshop you can check out would be the Yin and Yang Conference, also conducted by Dr Martha Lee. This workshop is open to both men and women, so you can rope your boyfriend in! From the scientific (learning about each other’s anatomies) to the sensual (learning how to touch each other so as to connect on a deeper level), no stone would be left unturned. While the thought of talking about your sex life in a group may seem daunting, you’ll be surprised that with the encouragement of a facilitator, vocalising your thoughts becomes easier. I’m sure this is one workshop my teacher friend can benefit from!