Why Do People Assume Women Only Want To Date Rich Guys? – Denise Li

Aside from the glaring grammatical error of this meme – there’s no need to say “ATM machine” when the “M” in ATM already stands for machine – the other thing that really bugs me about it is the underlying assumption that the only thing it takes to land a woman is money.

I mean, seriously?

I think it’s disturbing how people flippantly say things like, “Oh, he’s rich, of course she wants to date him” and, in my experience, it’s both men and women who are guilty of such statements.

Where’s the sisterly solidarity?

Many of my female friends are ambitious and financially independent, and I don’t believe they are the exceptions to the rule. If they do expect men they date to be earning a certain salary each month, it’s because they themselves have grown accustomed to a lifestyle that they wish they upkeep; and it’s wrong to automatically assume that it’s because they expect the guy to finance it. Some of my friends don’t even mind streamlining their lifestyles if their men don’t earn as much as they do.

That’s why I really take offence when people assume that how big a guy’s paycheck is, is a necessary and sufficient condition that dictates his eligibility. But, hey, I’m not entirely naïve here. I would be a fool to say that hearing that a guy is a successful entrepreneur or lawyer doesn’t leave a good first impression. I’m sure it does, for some women. But don’t just assume it’s cos he’s rich. It could also be because they assume he’s got traits that are commonly associated with success – ambition, drive, smarts. And they could very well expect the men they date to have these traits because these women embody them themselves!

You might think I’m just stirring up a storm in a teacup but I think such statements have darker undertones and hark back to a time where women were less educated, had fewer opportunities and basically had little choice but to depend on men for security. This arrangement was not without its trade-offs, of course. In exchange, women’s roles were limited to keeping house, and raising children. Few other options were available to them.

By assuming all women are golddiggers, it’s akin to ignoring all the forward strides feminism has made in the past 50 years or so. If we allow such statements to be made so flippantly, we are essentially reinforcing the continual subjugation of women to the patriarchy.

Not only is the “woman as golddigger” image highly degrading and unsavoury, it also paints an image of men to be a bunch of sorry, sad sods who have to resort to buying love and affection.

I’m not saying golddiggers don’t exist; but let’s not forget that most of us do not aspire to be WAGs, nor do we make it our life’s mission to marry a rich old guy so we can inherit his fortune. It is unfortunate that cases such as Heather Mills fleecing Sir Paul McCartney of 24m pounds of his fortune grab headlines; but let’s make it our mission not to give credence to such negative stereotypes that are clearly not true of the majority of women.

Comments
2 Responses to “Why Do People Assume Women Only Want To Date Rich Guys? – Denise Li”
  1. Indra says:

    Coincidence much but i just had this talk with my mom about being financially independent and not depending on men. Even if your man is rich, there’s always this great feeling when you stand on your own feet(compared to several gold diggers i know). It just exudes confidence. Although honestly, i think there are way too many gold diggers out there. Hence, such a statement, even though it’s unfair to us. We’re a dying breed i guess (;

  2. Vanessa Tai says:

    couldn’t agree more! A man is not an insurance plan!

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